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Domestic Violence Awareness Month: Learn the signs of abuse and How to Get Help

Writer: Trellis Therapy
Trellis Therapy
Oct 12
3 min read
Safety, Support, and Solidarity for Domestic Violence Awareness

Every October, advocates, survivors, and communities across the country come together for Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM). First observed in October 1981 as a national "Day of Unity," DVAM unites advocates nationwide to raise awareness about the signs of abuse, uplift survivor stories, and connect people with resources and support.


How to Recognize the Warning Signs of Domestic Violence


It's not always easy to tell, especially at the start of a relationship, whether it will later become abusive. Warning signs don't always show up overnight. They often emerge and intensify as the relationship grows.


Every relationship looks different, and abuse doesn't always look the same from one relationship to the next. But one thing most abusive relationships share is that the abusive partner tries to establish or gain power and control over the other person, in many different ways, at different moments.


Common signs of abusive behavior in a partner include:


  • Telling you that you never do anything right

  • Showing extreme jealousy of your friends or time spent away from them

  • Preventing or discouraging you from spending time with others, particularly friends, family, or peers

  • Insulting, demeaning, or shaming you, especially in front of other people

  • Preventing you from making your own decisions, including about working or attending school

  • Controlling finances in the household without discussion, such as taking your money or refusing to provide money for necessary expenses

  • Pressuring you to have sex or perform sexual acts you're not comfortable with

  • Pressuring you to use drugs or alcohol

  • Intimidating you through threatening looks or actions

  • Insulting your parenting or threatening to harm or take away your children or pets

  • Intimidating you with weapons

  • Destroying your belongings or your home


Remember, no one deserves to experience abuse of any kind, for any reason, and every type of abuse is serious.


How to Support Someone Who May Be Experiencing Abuse


If you suspect a friend or family member is in an abusive relationship, how you show up for them matters. A few ways to help:


  • Educate yourself. Understanding the different types of abuse, physical, emotional, sexual, financial, and technology-facilitated, helps you recognize what someone may be going through and respond with empathy rather than judgment.

  • Listen without judgment. People experiencing abuse are often isolated by their abusers, so a safe space to share without fear of blame can make a real difference. Let them express their feelings, validate what they're going through, and avoid pressuring them toward a decision on their own timeline.

  • Encourage professional support. Survivors often carry emotional scars that outlast the physical effects of abuse, and some are at increased risk for post-traumatic stress, substance use, or other stress-related mental health concerns. Counseling offers a confidential space to work through trauma with a non-judgmental professional. You can help by researching local resources or offering to go with them to an appointment.

  • Raise awareness and advocate for change. Supporting survivors isn't limited to October. Sharing resources, participating in local events, and speaking up about the need for funding and support services all help build a safer community for everyone.


How to Get Help


If any of this sounds familiar, you don't have to figure it out alone. Advocates are available 24/7 to talk through your situation and help you identify options for your safety.


You Don't Have to Carry This Alone


Healing from the impact of an unsafe relationship, whether it's your own experience or one someone you love has gone through, takes time and support. At Trellis Therapy, our therapists offer a safe, welcoming space for individuals, couples, and families, in person in Edmond, Oklahoma, and online. If you are ready to begin therapy, we would be honored to walk alongside you. Reach out to us today to get started.


Please note that Trellis is not a crisis service. If you or someone you love is in immediate danger, please call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233).


Sources:

The National Domestic Violence Hotline. (2026). Warning signs of abuse. Retrieved September 30, 2026, from https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/domestic-abuse-warning-signs/


The National Domestic Violence Hotline. (2026). Four ways to help survivors or victims heal this Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Retrieved September 30, 2026, from https://www.thehotline.org/resources/four-ways-to-help-survivors-or-victims-heal/


The National Domestic Violence Hotline. (2026). Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Retrieved September 30, 2026, from https://www.thehotline.org/stakeholders/domestic-violence-awareness-month/


Domestic Violence Awareness Project. (2026). About the DVAP Project. National Resource Center on Domestic Violence. Retrieved September 30, 2026, from https://www.dvawareness.org/about

 
 
 

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