Many of us were taught, directly or indirectly, that the way through hard things is to push harder. Work more. Pull yourself up. Keep going. In Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode and into a Life of Connection and Joy, therapist Aundi Kolber offers a different model, one rooted in nervous system science, attachment theory, and self-compassion. The Problem With "Trying Harder" Aundi writes about a pattern that many people find them