Staying Connected During the Holidays: Rituals that Matter

The holiday season can bring joy, but it also comes with busyness, travel, and stress that make connection difficult. Research from The Gottman Institute highlights the importance of rituals of connection: intentional, meaningful routines that help couples and families stay close and create lasting shared meaning.

What Are Rituals of Connection?

Rituals of connection are dependable ways we turn toward each other in daily life and during special moments. They can be as simple as how you greet one another at the end of the day, or as big as the traditions you celebrate year after year. These rituals matter because they:

• Provide structure and stability during busy or stressful times.

• Communicate love, appreciation, and belonging.

• Build shared meaning, helping couples and families feel like a team.

When life gets overwhelming, like it often does during the holidays, rituals protect relationships from drifting and help us focus on what matters most.

Two Holiday-Specific Rituals to Try

• For Couples: Choose a holiday “anchor moment” each week, like enjoying cuddling together by the fireplace, taking a quiet walk to see lights, or sharing a six-second kiss before heading into gatherings. These intentional pauses protect your bond in the midst of the season’s busyness.

• For Families & Individuals: Create a gratitude ritual during holiday meals or gift-giving. Invite each person to share one highlight of the past year or something they’re thankful for. If you are celebrating the holidays by yourself, do this ritual of connection in a journal or send a text to a loved one! This simple practice grounds the holiday in connection and meaning.

Facing the Challenges

With full calendars it’s easy to feel stretched thin. The key is not doing everything, but choosing a few rituals that align with your values and repeating them with care. Even brief, consistent moments of connection can have a lasting impact.

Take the Next Step

If the holidays leave you feeling disconnected or overwhelmed, therapy can provide tools to help you strengthen your relationships and reclaim meaningful connection. At Trellis Therapy, we help individuals, couples, and families create space for healing, connection, and flourishing during the holidays and beyond.

Reach out today to start therapy and make this season one of deeper connection!

Sources: The Gottman Institute. (n.d.). The Gottman Institute. Retrieved September 28, 2025, from https://www.gottman.com